What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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