I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
