When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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