I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
