Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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