is your mom at the bar?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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