ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
