marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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