with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
