So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
