I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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