ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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