He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
