Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize