Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
