WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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