would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
