But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
