he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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