It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
