operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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