i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
