Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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