i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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