new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
