i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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