I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
