He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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