maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
