two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize