today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
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Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
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It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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