Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
