Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
