Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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