he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
