"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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