is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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