I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
