I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
