Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
