I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize