He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
