Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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