trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
