I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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