So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize