I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
