there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
