she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
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Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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