we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
