sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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