If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You can't just leave with hair like that
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
