Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i think i have herpe
just one?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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