How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
